Traveling Salesman - The Journey to Success

Learning to Live Large

Schwartz and Maltz had it right; thinking big and believing in yourself are two keys to success. I discovered this early in my sales career as a paperboy thanks to my sales manager. He introduced me to the writings of David J. Schwartz's "The Magic of Thinking Big" and Maxwell Maltz's book, "Psycho-Cybernetics." Soon after I took on my paper route my boss gave me these books. He told me I had the potential to be a great salesperson and that these two books would help me along my way. I didn't know him very well but I was impressed that he would actually give "me" these books. After all, I was the unlikely success story. At 14, five two and 160 pounds I was not the shining example of the super salesman. I was more like a short version of Chris Farley in Tommy Boy. I had low self esteem and I wasn't popular. So receiving these books was a pleasant surprise, especially coming from my enthusiastic boss. Obviously my superior saw something in me I didn't. Reading was already a passion in my life, when he handed me the books, I willingly accepted them.

They will change your life son," he said with absolute confidence. Coming from a very conservative Norwegian Lutheran family where I had been taught that the only thing that could change my life was Jesus, this news came as a surprising diversion to my current thinking. How could books change your life? Maybe they are dangerous?, I thought. But that made me want to read them all the more. I could hardly wait to get home and begin the journey. And a journey it was. To this day I attribute much of my success and change in attitude as a salesperson to these two books and what they taught me.

The first thing I learned was the difference between wishful thinking and belief. People wish for things to change in their lives all the time. Believing they will change is a totally different matter. I wished for many things in my life. I wished I wasn't fat. I wished I was popular. I wished more people liked me. And I wished I wouldn't end up a mechanic like my father.

Schwartz taught me to think differently, to think beyond the confines of my current situation. He taught me to believe that I could actually change my life, not just wish it to happen. He taught me that I could be all the things I wanted to be if-and only if-I believed. I will never forget some of his phrases "Remind yourself regularly that you are better than you think you are. Successful people are not supermen. . . . Think success, don' think failure . . . Believe and grow big." He taught me that I had fallen victim to what he called "excusitis" that terrible "mind-deadening thought disease." I was making up excuses for all my problems, but I wasn't doing anything to change my situation. I simply accepted my problems as my lot in life and made up excuses as to why I couldn't change.

The second author, Maltz gave me instruction on "thinking positive." A positive self-image was the key to unlocking one's true human potential, according to him. He revealed how experimental and clinical psychologists had proven "beyond a shadow of a doubt" that the central nervous system cannot tell the difference between reality and fantasy. Believe yourself to be a king and you will become one; believe you are a failure and you will be. Sounds too simple? I dare you to think again. The mind knows not the difference. This was powerful stuff, especially to a fourteen year old. This was my first introduction to the world of self help books and personal motivation. It was a brand new sensation. But the real question was could I-would I-really be able to change?

I was a fat kid growing up. I am still haunted by the memories of going with my mother to Penny's Department store to pick out my school clothes for the coming year. As much as I wanted to fit into all the latest styles I always ended up buying the double kneed "Huskies jeans." I cannot recall if Huskies only came with double kneed jeans or that was just what we bought. Regardless, they were an embarrassment and the bain of my existence. Besides being fat, I was also short, so of course, the jeans were always too long and had to be hemmed up, which put the double kneed part of the jeans somewhere below my actual knees. Picture the image of a short, fat boy waddling to school with jeans that were overly thick below the knee, proudly displaying the "Husky" trademark on the backside. There were plenty of nicknames whispered in the hallways. What stuck was, "here comes Husky."

You can imagine how much I looked forward to going to gym class. It was the opportunity for me to be further insulted when I had to undress in front of my fellow classmates all of whom-I was convinced-looked far better than me. By the time I was 14 most of my classmates looked like budding athletes. I looked like a youthful version of Fred Flintstone. I remember on one particular occasion sitting on the locker bench getting ready for gym class. I was undressing, flanked by the gym coach and Rocky Falcone, a popular student and athlete in school. As I proceeded to undress into my gym clothes Rockie turned to the coach and said, "Coach, look at him. He is a fat pig."

The coach in his "oh so sensitive" style replied, "I know it. And he knows it. And he will probably never change." For a 14 year old these were tough words to hear. I wanted to cry but knew they were watching. I said nothing in response. I just put on my gym clothes and left the room.

I had grown use to the taunting and negative comments by kids through the years but what really hurt was the blatant endorsement, this time, by an adult, specifically, a coach. He publicly confirmed what I knew to be true. I could think of nothing else the rest of the day.

You are fat. You are a slob. You will always be fat. You will never be popular. People are always laughing at you behind your back. You will never have friends. You will never have a girlfriend. You will have a terrible job. You will end up a truck drive or a mechanic. You will always wear Husky pants because you will always be fat. Fat people are disgusting. Fat people are lazy. Fat people are undisciplined. Fat people are dumb. Fat people finish last. Fat people, Fat people, Fat people.

I went to the nurse's office after gym class that day complaining of stomach flu. Since I lived close by the nurse let me walk home. On my way home I did what I shouldn't have done so may times before, I stopped by the local candy store. I bought three or four of my favorite candy bars and proceeded to wolf them down as quickly as I could. It brought me momentary pleasure and then immediate guilt. Everything they were saying about me was true. I was a fat slob. I wouldn't amount to anything. Tears welled up within me. I remember going around to the side of the store near the grassy knoll where I would often eat my candy. I sat down hoping no one would notice the fat boy whimpering on the grass when he should be in school.

Remind yourself regularly that you are better than you think you are. Successful people are not supermen . . .Think success, don' think failure. One's self image is the key to human personality and human behavior.

And then it happened. It was the closest thing to a conversion I had ever experienced. I felt light headed, yet surprisingly confident. Then and there, on that grassy knoll next to my favorite candy story, I told myself I was going to change. From that day forward I would seek out my full potential. And the part of me that I didn't like-the fat part-I would change. My life was going to be different because I believed it could be different. I was no longer going to be a bystander. I would become an active participant in "my better future."

The changes didn't come easy or fast. The weight loss took years. The new friends grew slowly. But my confidence grew daily. My change in attitude gave me a new beginning. From now on I was out to "get more living our of life" as Maltz would say. At fourteen years of age I was learning to live large in a whole new way.